The In-between

Where Do I Start?

I’ve stared at this blank page for days. Do I apologize for disappearing for over a year? Orrr do I simply continue as though I never left?

Uhm…I think I’ll do neither. Instead, let start with the in-between.

You know that place where it feels like nothing is happening? Or maybe, more accurately, where nothing seems to be happening. I wake up. I watch a movie. I think a little too much. I romanticize what life might have looked like if I had made different decisions. Then, somehow, it’s night again. It’s a strange season. One that doesn’t make for exciting Instagram stories but somehow leaves you with more questions than answers.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about decision-making. The first time I ever heard that phrase was in Home Economics class at Mayflower School, Ikenne. It was JSS 2 Blue. Mr. Olubowale stood in front of a classroom with no windows, no doors, and a floor rough enough to remind us every day that comfort wasn’t guaranteed. I remember him asking, “What is decision-making?” Ironically, I can’t remember the exact definition he gave us. I probably didn’t pay much attention because, at the time, it sounded like just another topic that would appear in an exam. I had no idea that years later, my life’s direction would depend so heavily on those two words. Looking back now, I realize life is really just a series of decisions. Some obvious. Some subtle. Some life-changing.

Over the past few years, I’ve made quite a few. I decided to relocate back to Nigeria. I decided Abuja would become home. I decided not to wait for the MRTB’s decision before moving forward with Product Management. I accepted a Product Manager role in a branding and communications agency. Later, I left that role for a higher-paying remote EdTech position. I chose work over balance. I chose multiple jobs over enough sleep. I enrolled for a Master’s degree in E-Health Management instead of pursuing an MBA.

And then…

I made perhaps the most unexpected decision of them all. I quit.

Not because I had everything figured out. Not because another opportunity was waiting. But because something inside me knew I needed to pause. Now, if you know me, you know I like being prepared. I love plans. I like knowing what’s next. So trust me when I say… I surprised myself. Here’s the funny thing about decision-making. We get to choose our decisions. We don’t get to choose their consequences. No one told us that part in Home Economics class. Or maybe they did, and I simply wasn’t listening. These days, we have AI. I’ll admit it, I use it.

Sometimes for the smallest things. “Should I go out today? It’s raining.” “Does a blue shoe go with a purple bag?” Other times, for things that weigh much heavier. “My brother is upset with me after I corrected him. How should I respond?” It’s amazing how much information AI can offer. But when I think about the biggest decisions of my life, AI wasn’t there. Those choices came from moments of faith, fear, hope, uncertainty, and prayer. Which brings me to a question I’ve been asking myself lately.

How often do we truly involve God before making a decision?

Not after we’ve chosen. Not after things fall apart. Before. Lately, I’ve been holding tightly to Isaiah 30:21 (NIV): “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’”

What comforts me is that the verse begins with whether. Whether you turn right. Whether you turn left. It assumes you’ll have choices to make. It acknowledges that life requires movement. It simply reminds you that God is still able to guide you. So here I am. Still making decisions. Still learning. Still trusting. Still in-between. And maybe that’s not such a bad place to be after all. Because if God truly is in the midst of her……then He’s certainly in the middle of this season too.

Welcome back ABG readers….I think I’ve missed this place….

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog post! Permit me to say i am committed to sharing my journey and feeding your reading appetite with every diary entry. If you have stories of your own or messages to share, feel free to reach out to me at jemmylistens@gmail.com—I’d love to feature your stories too! Don’t forget to subscribe to my blog and follow me on Instagram. I’ll be in the comments section, eagerly waiting for your thoughts on this post. I’ll see you here sometime next week or sooner!